“If you are not to award me love, then I will indulge in rage”
- Selena Flores
- Nov 21, 2025
- 1 min read
I think it’s so weird. To grieve someone who is fully alive.
But it feels like they’ve died and is completely gone from your life.
They died years ago.
They felt like a ghost who’s stuck in a loop, forgetting you even exist.
Actually, I think they knew I existed but my emotions were never mine to feel. It was theirs that I had to take care of.
Rage lived inside me for so long that I rejected every ounce of it.
The anger was really just sadness.
I’ve cried and cried and fucking cried for days. One day I cried for what felt like 12 hours straight. But maybe it was only 7.
My heart has been physically hurting.
Emotions just keep pouring and pouring out.
Mourning over a relationship that never even existed.
Mourning for what could be. What could have been.
I never noticed the weight I carried in my heart for over a decade.
Finally allowing myself to open the floodgates.
I’ve never been so tired of crying lol.
It hurts immensely but I just know I’m making space for more love. No longer keeping my heart filled with pain.
I refuse to be bitter like you. I refuse to carry these issues into future relationships.
it sucks to know they're the way they are because they weren't loved like they needed to be. but it doesn't negate that they're responsible for themselves. you shouldn't be brought into this world to carry someone else's pain.